Currently, I am not well physically. Nausea, headache, feeling faint and dizzy: you name it, I'm experiencing it. But still, despite all these unpleasant symptoms, I cannot seem to let myself rest. Writing this blog post is my way of remaining productive, active and alert in spite of a bug/infection/whatever that dictates that I take-it-easy, as my father always calls it. I cannot take it easy, I want to be superhuman.
But, in this post, I wanted to (attempt to) convince myself that looking after yourself, ill or not, is the primary responsibility of being human. We are the caretakers of our own bodies, no one can do it for us, and it is essential for a happy and healthy existence.
It's almost a trend these days, 'self-care', and believe me, it's a movement I can get behind. Bubble baths, wonderful! Scented candles, bloody hell they smell good! But self-care is far more than that, as the self-care trend is beginning to recognise now also. It's actually caring for yourself as you would a child, or a loved one. And it's a hell of a lot more difficult than it sounds. I'm not here to give my tips, I've done that a little in a previous post, but rather to explain why we must value and respect the weaknesses and vulnerabilities of our physical forms, and to allow this to strengthen our mental fortress. The two are intrinsically, irrevocably linked.
Maintaining the Body
The body is our portable, semi-automatic (no one tells blood to pump itself around, eh?), temporary and delicate vessel. It partially is, and houses entirely, 'us'. Therefore it must be maintained and respected, something I'm willing to say the majority of people occasionally, or even often, ignore. Some people drink to excess, some smoke, some eat unhealthily, some neglect personal hygiene and grooming, some may even inflict damage on their bodies on purpose. The body is not respected as it should be, and I myself am very guilty of this.
The human condition seems to involve a disregard for the importance of the body. We just assume it's there and it'll always work and we're infinite and we'll never die. Perhaps this is due to the terror of impermanence. Being perpetually aware that one day death will come for all of us is not particularly conducive to a happy and healthy life, but an awareness that the body must be looked after to achieve such a life is essential.
So guys, you know the drill: eat well, sleep plenty, exercise regularly, avoid unhealthy habits. If only it were that easy. It is definitely possible, but only through recognising that the body is a tool to be used for our benefit. It is a part of us and it must be maintained. I definitely need to take this concept on board, let's hope I can do so.
Kindness and Positive Self-talk
It is very rare to meet someone whose self-esteem is high enough to always treat themselves kindly. In fact, I don't know of anyone, unless I'm mistaken, who doesn't engage in self-directed negativity. Goodness knows, I'm terribly critical of myself, and I'm sure many of you reading are often unkind to yourselves too. It's almost inevitable, as we know ourselves best and therefore know our insecurities and greatest weaknesses, and can choose to hit these tender spots at will. But it's not necessary to be your biggest critic, you can be your greatest supporter.
It begins (I assume) with positive self-talk. This term has been thrown about a bit in my years in therapy, all eight of them, and it really intrigues me. Imagine being able to be kind to yourself on purpose; to choose to talk nicely and highlight your own strengths. It seems virtually impossible to me, but I know that it would become a habit. Looking in the mirror and seeing someone I like looking back is a huge goal of mine. I wonder if it's one of yours too?
So start with the mirror. Pick a few nice things to say. It's the beginning of a love story (with yourself)!
Inherent Value as a Living Thing and the Notion of Support
Being vegan, it's no secret that I value the lives of non-human animals. As beings, human and non-human, we are inherently worthy of care, love and happiness. All living things, particularly those that are sentient (just my bias, admittedly), are deserving of being 'looked-after'. This does not compromise independence, but rather nods to the notion that no cat/dog/pig/human is an island. Some might think 'I'm a strong independent cat/dog/pig/human who don't need no support', but this couldn't be less true. Everyone needs help sometimes and it is not a sign of weakness to seek such support, instead it is to recognise that we are social animals and love/care is of the highest importance.
I struggle with this a lot. I've never been great at asking for help, even code words when I was very (mentally) unwell were rendered unusable by my silly mind and metaphorical stiff upper lip. I tried to soldier on and have now come to the conclusion that asking for help, when I need it, is a sign of strength for me. Letting people in is not a natural process for my silly brain (or Brian as he is more often known) and it's often very difficult to express my thoughts and feelings. Humour helps me a lot. Making a quick joke out of a serious situation seems to be the only way I can actually admit things aren't great in real life. I'm flipping great at admitting things on Instagram (as you'll know if you follow me), because I'm, in my mind, talking to an empty void. I barely even consider that anyone will see it. What a paradox.
Anyway, in conclusion: you are an inherently valuable being, worthy of being looked after by yourself and others. Speak to yourself kindly and admit when you need help. I'll try to do the same.
Thank you for reading. I'm now going to collapse into a heap and possibly throw up. Much love.
over and out <3
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